Post by Negib on Jul 5, 2006 7:44:25 GMT 2
This is a joke I heard many times at school. It is in Lebanese language but I translate it into English:
Ahmad Sherif met once Sofia in a restaurant.
-Chou Sofia, mabrouk, I heard you signed with Rotana ?
-Not exactly…
-Why, what happened ?
-Well, there was this paper to fill up. It was saying PROFESSION
-So what ?
-I wrote SINGER
;D
;D
Michel is deeply in love with SOFIA. Everybody knows that. But what nobody knows is that without his contact lens, Michel is completely blind.
One night during dancing with Sofia in a night-club, he lost them but, thanks God, he had his normal glasses.
Back at home, they started kissing each others and after a while, Sofia said:
- Mich, take off you glasses, they are hurting me!
So Michel took off his glasses and continued kissing Sofia. But after a while, she ordered him:
- Mich, put your glasses on, you are kissing the pillow!
;D
;D
The best compliment you can make to Sofia is to ask her :
- What do you think ?
;D
;D
“Al-Jarass” magazine reported that Michel and Sophia were invited to the former “Miss Lebanon” wedding.
They were on a table drinking and Sophia said to Michal:
- Champaign makes you gorgeous…
- But I didn’t drink yet !
- Yes, but I am at my third cup replied double face
;D
;D
Sofia is fed up with Michel, he is jealous and sticky. So she decided to get rid of him.
She went to a pharmacy:
- I want a litter of arsenic please
- What for? asks the pharmacist
- Its for my lover
- Well this is not my business, but do you have any prescription ?
- No, but I do have his picture…!
;D
;D
Since her last appearance on the stages with Starac3 students, Sofia sung so badly and her song was so insignificant that LBC refuses to let her sing again one of her album’s songs on its stages.
She was so depressed that she got weight and became so fat that she could not wear her trousers anymore.
So, she decided to consult a doctor.
He examined her and told her:
- Open your mouth and say: Je suis MALAAAAAAAAAAAA…
- Je suis MEUUH !
;D
;D
Everybody knows that Sofia has not a supreme intelligence.
She was buying a pizza and the man asked her:
- I cut it in 4 or 8 parts ?
- In 4 please, I cannot eat 8 portions !
;D
;D
Sofia asks a Manager at Rotana :
- What do you prefer in me ? my voice or my cleverness ?
And the Manager answers:
- Your sense of humour !
;D
;D
How do you make Sofia’s eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
;D
;D
Q: Why does Sofia has little holes all over her face?
A: From eating with forks.
;D
;D
Sofia said to Simon Asmar, her former manager :
- I have good and bad news for you. I want to quit Star System.
- And what’s the bad news ?
;D
;D
How many jokes do I know about Sofia ?
None, because they are all true.
;D
;D
How to burn Sofia’s ear ?
Call her when she is ironing.
;D
;D
What does Sofia with a fan ?
She shakes her head.
;D
;D
How to make Sofia laugh on Monday morning ?
You tell her a joke on Friday evening.
;D
;D
Sofia walks with a puppet bear in her arms.
Michel asked her : Where did you get that ?
The bear answers : At a charity fair
;D
;D
Sophia loves men ! She makes no secret of it.
One night, she was in bed with her lover Michal and they made love.
Once they finished, Michal wanted to go to the toilet. He said to the Diva :
I’m coming back in two minutes. Can you keep my place free ?
;D
;D
At the last Murex d’Or, Ahmed Cherif got an award for his album.
Next day, Sofia called the organizers.
- You gave Ahmed a prize and I have got nothing !
- But since 4 years you did nothing!
- So what ? Give me the Murex d’Or for having done nothing !
;D
;D
What happens when Sofia gets Alzheimers disease ?
HER IQ GOES UP!
;D
;D
Q: How do you describe Sofia, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.
;D
;D
What do you see when you look into Sofia’s eyes?
The back of her head.
;D
;D
What does Sofia every morning ?
She comes back home!
;D
;D
Double face calls her manager.
Please hurry, I bought a puzzle and it makes me crazy I can’t do it.
Her manager came, had a look on the puzzle and said:
- OK Sofia look what we are going to do. Let’s put the corn flakes back in the box and we forget about the problem OK ?
;D
;D
Sofia walks with a puppet bear in her arms.
Michel asked her : Where did you get that ?
The bear answers : At a charity fair event
;D
;D
Bahaa, Myriam and Sofia are testing a lie detector.
Bahaa says : I think I am the most beautiful girl on earth.
BZZZZZZZZZ
Myriam says : I think I am the most beautiful girl on earth.
BZZZZZZZZZ
Sofia says : I think…
BZZZZZZZZZ
;D
;D
I am a fan of Sofia and an old member in arasale.com and I have lately switched to sofiamarikh.net
but I came back to this site because I am fed up with the other forum for the following reason:
One topic in sofiamarikh.net generates more than 200 useless posts.
For example, one member posts a picture of Sofia
He receives 100 posts of congratulations.
Then he thanks every one who sent him congratulation.
WHICH MAKES 200 POSTS FOR ONE TOPIC !!
It’s irritating because you spend half an hour to read : thank you. No I thank you. How lucky you are. Thank you. I thank you for your thank you.
And sometimes they forget that they already say thanks, so they post another thank you.
The least we can say is that they are polite.
But nothing else.
;D
;D
Why Sofia keeps near her bed a glass plenty of water and another one empty ?
Because sometimes she is thirty and sometimes she is not.
;D
;D
Why Sofia has green lipstick ?
Because red means STOP !
;D
;D
Why Sofia’s brain is as big as a pea in the morning ?
Because it blows up during the night.
;D
;D
Why Sofia doesn’t talk when she makes love ?
Because her mom told her not to talk to strangers.
;D
;D
Why Sofia is happy when she succeeds doing a puzzle in 3 years ?
Because it is written on the box : From 2 to 5 years
;D
;D
Why Sofia never eats bananas ?
Because she never finds the zipper.
;D
;D
Why Sofia stays close to the window during a thunder storm ?
- To be on the picture.
;D
;D
Why you cannot watch Sophia on your TV ?
Because she shines so much that the screen is white!
;D
;D
What happens when Sofia flies to Morocco ?
The average IQ of Lebanon increases.
;D
;D
Ahmad Sherif met once Sofia in a restaurant.
-Chou Sofia, mabrouk, I heard you signed with Rotana ?
-Not exactly…
-Why, what happened ?
-Well, there was this paper to fill up. It was saying PROFESSION
-So what ?
-I wrote SINGER
;D
;D
Michel is deeply in love with SOFIA. Everybody knows that. But what nobody knows is that without his contact lens, Michel is completely blind.
One night during dancing with Sofia in a night-club, he lost them but, thanks God, he had his normal glasses.
Back at home, they started kissing each others and after a while, Sofia said:
- Mich, take off you glasses, they are hurting me!
So Michel took off his glasses and continued kissing Sofia. But after a while, she ordered him:
- Mich, put your glasses on, you are kissing the pillow!
;D
;D
The best compliment you can make to Sofia is to ask her :
- What do you think ?
;D
;D
“Al-Jarass” magazine reported that Michel and Sophia were invited to the former “Miss Lebanon” wedding.
They were on a table drinking and Sophia said to Michal:
- Champaign makes you gorgeous…
- But I didn’t drink yet !
- Yes, but I am at my third cup replied double face
;D
;D
Sofia is fed up with Michel, he is jealous and sticky. So she decided to get rid of him.
She went to a pharmacy:
- I want a litter of arsenic please
- What for? asks the pharmacist
- Its for my lover
- Well this is not my business, but do you have any prescription ?
- No, but I do have his picture…!
;D
;D
Since her last appearance on the stages with Starac3 students, Sofia sung so badly and her song was so insignificant that LBC refuses to let her sing again one of her album’s songs on its stages.
She was so depressed that she got weight and became so fat that she could not wear her trousers anymore.
So, she decided to consult a doctor.
He examined her and told her:
- Open your mouth and say: Je suis MALAAAAAAAAAAAA…
- Je suis MEUUH !
;D
;D
Everybody knows that Sofia has not a supreme intelligence.
She was buying a pizza and the man asked her:
- I cut it in 4 or 8 parts ?
- In 4 please, I cannot eat 8 portions !
;D
;D
Sofia asks a Manager at Rotana :
- What do you prefer in me ? my voice or my cleverness ?
And the Manager answers:
- Your sense of humour !
;D
;D
How do you make Sofia’s eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
;D
;D
Q: Why does Sofia has little holes all over her face?
A: From eating with forks.
;D
;D
Sofia said to Simon Asmar, her former manager :
- I have good and bad news for you. I want to quit Star System.
- And what’s the bad news ?
;D
;D
How many jokes do I know about Sofia ?
None, because they are all true.
;D
;D
How to burn Sofia’s ear ?
Call her when she is ironing.
;D
;D
What does Sofia with a fan ?
She shakes her head.
;D
;D
How to make Sofia laugh on Monday morning ?
You tell her a joke on Friday evening.
;D
;D
Sofia walks with a puppet bear in her arms.
Michel asked her : Where did you get that ?
The bear answers : At a charity fair
;D
;D
Sophia loves men ! She makes no secret of it.
One night, she was in bed with her lover Michal and they made love.
Once they finished, Michal wanted to go to the toilet. He said to the Diva :
I’m coming back in two minutes. Can you keep my place free ?
;D
;D
At the last Murex d’Or, Ahmed Cherif got an award for his album.
Next day, Sofia called the organizers.
- You gave Ahmed a prize and I have got nothing !
- But since 4 years you did nothing!
- So what ? Give me the Murex d’Or for having done nothing !
;D
;D
What happens when Sofia gets Alzheimers disease ?
HER IQ GOES UP!
;D
;D
Q: How do you describe Sofia, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.
;D
;D
What do you see when you look into Sofia’s eyes?
The back of her head.
;D
;D
What does Sofia every morning ?
She comes back home!
;D
;D
Double face calls her manager.
Please hurry, I bought a puzzle and it makes me crazy I can’t do it.
Her manager came, had a look on the puzzle and said:
- OK Sofia look what we are going to do. Let’s put the corn flakes back in the box and we forget about the problem OK ?
;D
;D
Sofia walks with a puppet bear in her arms.
Michel asked her : Where did you get that ?
The bear answers : At a charity fair event
;D
;D
Bahaa, Myriam and Sofia are testing a lie detector.
Bahaa says : I think I am the most beautiful girl on earth.
BZZZZZZZZZ
Myriam says : I think I am the most beautiful girl on earth.
BZZZZZZZZZ
Sofia says : I think…
BZZZZZZZZZ
;D
;D
I am a fan of Sofia and an old member in arasale.com and I have lately switched to sofiamarikh.net
but I came back to this site because I am fed up with the other forum for the following reason:
One topic in sofiamarikh.net generates more than 200 useless posts.
For example, one member posts a picture of Sofia
He receives 100 posts of congratulations.
Then he thanks every one who sent him congratulation.
WHICH MAKES 200 POSTS FOR ONE TOPIC !!
It’s irritating because you spend half an hour to read : thank you. No I thank you. How lucky you are. Thank you. I thank you for your thank you.
And sometimes they forget that they already say thanks, so they post another thank you.
The least we can say is that they are polite.
But nothing else.
;D
;D
Why Sofia keeps near her bed a glass plenty of water and another one empty ?
Because sometimes she is thirty and sometimes she is not.
;D
;D
Why Sofia has green lipstick ?
Because red means STOP !
;D
;D
Why Sofia’s brain is as big as a pea in the morning ?
Because it blows up during the night.
;D
;D
Why Sofia doesn’t talk when she makes love ?
Because her mom told her not to talk to strangers.
;D
;D
Why Sofia is happy when she succeeds doing a puzzle in 3 years ?
Because it is written on the box : From 2 to 5 years
;D
;D
Why Sofia never eats bananas ?
Because she never finds the zipper.
;D
;D
Why Sofia stays close to the window during a thunder storm ?
- To be on the picture.
;D
;D
Why you cannot watch Sophia on your TV ?
Because she shines so much that the screen is white!
;D
;D
What happens when Sofia flies to Morocco ?
The average IQ of Lebanon increases.
;D
;D